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This is a picture from the party I went to the night before I started my sober month. This is probably the last time I had fun. My buddy Talj is to my left and my other buddy Chris Park getting his face in the pic is to the right. They’re both funny comedians. You should follow them on IG:
Random Thought
I don’t wanna tell you that sobriety sucks. It’s probably not sobriety that sucks. It’s probably the timing. I decided to start a sober month on Sunday, January 5th and the sober month started with a hangover and in some ways, it feels like the cloud of that hangover never lifted.
Maybe I’m being dramatic. Maybe I’m being a baby. Maybe it’s just that I’m so used to having a beer or two to take the edge off, that I forgot what it’s like with that edge remaining present. But a few dumb things have happened in the past week and a half that have made me want to crawl into my shell and hide till mid-February. Also, if hiding for a prolonged period is an option, please can someone let me know how I can go about accomplishing that?
So, when I wrote the newsletter last week, I was only a few days in and feeling super confident and assured that a sober month would be no problem. The first week is usually like that. The walls close in eventually, but it starts off slow in the beginning. Now I’m at a point where I’m dealing with life as usual and sometimes life as usual isn’t fun and to counteract that, I insert my own form of fun to lighten things up. I’m not saying I’m unable to have fun being sober. But doing things that involve drinking is my usual go-to so it’s a struggle to look beyond that and try to find something to replace it. So far, comedy and sitting around and doing nothing seem to be the two things that come close to doing that.
A big downer for me was that my car needed to be inspected so I brought it in last Friday and it failed. And now I don’t know what to do. A friend suggested catalytic converter cleaner so I’m gonna try that. If that doesn’t work, I don’t know what I’m gonna do. It’s probably going to be an expensive fix and I’ve put so much money into this car when it comes to getting it fixed up that part of me is thinking, fuck it, maybe it’s time to get a newer car instead of constantly pouring hundreds/thousands into this one still. I have till the end of February to figure it out. Either way, if the Hail Mary CC cleaner doesn’t work, it looks like I’m gonna be spending a large chunk of money I don’t really wanna spend.
Beyond that, it’s been cold. Like in the 20s/low 30s cold. It’s depressing weather. It’s the kind of weather that always has me questioning just who thought to start the new year with such a gloomy month? I don’t wanna disparage any specific month over another but if you could put any month on your chopping block to no longer exist, I feel like January has to be in everyone’s Top 3. It’s sorta why it’s become a go-to for my sober month. The month’s probably gonna suck anyways.
So anyways, here I am… sober and a little grumpier I suppose. This is by no means a call for help or pity. Things are alright. It’s life and I’m just feeling things a little more intensely. I don’t have my usual armor so of course things annoy me more than they usually do.
The good news is January can’t last forever and neither can winter. Spring is inevitable and I can’t wait till it gets here so I can have the audacity to complain about the increase in insects.
How I feel doing a sober month.
Movie I Watched Recently
The Fall Guy
(Prime)
I was discussing with a friend recently how I find myself constantly watching sad movies or movies with sad and serious undertones. Everything’s always so heavy. I enjoy it but sometimes I think I need a break from it (especially since I’m currently binging ‘Six Feet Under,’ now. More on that below in the TV section).
This movie was the perfect reprieve from such seriousness. This is your classic popcorn movie. It’s full of action. It’s funny. It’s a little dumb at times but never too dumb. It never had me deep inside my own feelings or overthinking anything. There wasn’t much time to think. The next fun scene was always right around the corner.
This movie puts a fun spotlight on stunt guys (and women). They are overlooked Hollywood heroes who deserve to have their own story be told and their own big screen hero. Being that the protagonist is a stunt guy, this movie is FULL of crazy and fun stunts.
There’s also a love story obviously because what Hollywood blockbuster doesn’t have one of those? There’s a bad guy villain who’s easy to root against (it’s the actor who the stunt guy fills in for, duh). It’s also an homage to an old 80s TV show with the same name, ‘The Fall Guy.’
One thing this movie isn’t is boring. And that’s exactly what I was looking for.
Also, stay for the credits.
Sure, I could’ve chosen one of the other poster pics where Ryan Gosling and Emily Blunt are front and center, but I chose this instead because I think the real star of this movie is the explosion.
TV show I’m currently watching
Six Feet Under
(Netflix)
I’m deep into the second season and this show’s gotten pretty heavy and sad and can sometimes be a real downer, hence the reason I chose something a lot lighter this week in the Movie Section. It’s crazy though because in a three episode span recently, I watched what was my favorite episode so far and the saddest episode so far.
My favorite episode so far was the ‘biker funeral on Christmas’ episode. This episode was so good. I swear for just a moment it fixed my life. It unlocked some of life’s mystery and I would have it all figured out going forward (that has faded a bit since). I’m no biker but I find myself identifying with biker culture. They dress how they wanna dress, listen to loud music, party, curse, and act in a way that many wouldn’t deem as socially acceptable, and they don’t give a fuck. The biker funeral is easily the best funeral so far on this show.
And that’s the thing about this show. There’s so much death (at least one per episode) so it’s hard not to encounter heavy topics. There’s heavy-good and heavy-heavy. The biker funeral was heavy-good. Like hell yea, live it up, live like there’s no tomorrow, and when one of your friends die, celebrate their life and howl at the moon.
But that was a small spike of celebration in what is mostly a continuing spiral of things that are sad. The happiest thing going on in this show is that Nate is engaged to get married and yet it’s like him and Brenda are all wrong for each other and both harbor crazy secrets that involve both of them being cheaters (Nate is gonna be a dad with someone else’s kid soon). So, it’s like, the oncoming wedding should be this show’s bright spot but it feels like an inevitable wave of further doom.
Michael and Keith finally got back together and go one step further and move in together. It turns out that Keith sucks to live with. It doesn’t help that he killed someone recently while on the job (he’s a cop for those not in the know) and he’s having crazy family problems. So, instead of getting a ‘happily ever after,’ things got worse for both of them after they decided to take it to the next level.
Ruth, poor Ruth. All she wants to do is spend time with her loved ones and no one wants to reciprocate. I’m on record for saying that Ruth is the most annoying character on this show BUT still I feel like her kids could lighten up and try a little harder around her. Put in some effort. I mean, their dad, her husband, just died only a year ago. How about a little family solidarity?
Claire’s stuff is a little weird but honestly most of her stuff just feels like run of the mill teenage stuff. I don’t usually feel as sad when they’re running the Claire narratives. I mostly think to myself, “she’ll figure it out.”
Well, that’s it for now. I’m kinda hoping this show makes a turn at some point and maybe gets a little less sad. We’ll see. I’m already planning on taking a break from this show if I’m still watching it when the new Cobra Kia comes out. I love Cobra Kai and the vibe of that show might be real refreshing after weeks of this.
Album of the Week
Who Let The Dogs Out / Lambrini Girls
I was really excited about this album. I saw Lambrini Girls over the summer open for Amyl and the Sniffers and they were great. They’re a ferocious female three-piece punk rock outfit and they owned their moment. This wasn’t a shy opening band humbly appreciative for anyone who showed up early and paid them any mind. LG were in our fucking faces, and I loved every second of it. It felt like something fresh, new, and punk AF.
This album almost matches their live ferocity. This is a band ready to explode. Or maybe they’re a band that’s currently exploding and that’s what this album is, the captured audio of that explosion over 11 tracks (clocking in at just under 30 minutes). If Riot Grrl is still a thing in 2025, then this band is it. It’s loud, it’s in your face, it never slows down, and it’s ugly when it needs to be.
I’m not sure what’s going on here, a poolside party? This album is not a party. It’s more a manifesto or a calling to boldly believe in yourself and fuck anyone who tries to bring you down, whether that be a person, people, or a whole society.
Book I’m Currently Reading
Hollywood / Charles Bukowski
I didn’t mean to read this book. It just sorta happened. I like Bukowski. I’ve read a few of his books and see plenty of his quotes floating around on the internet. But this book sorta came to me. I had finished my last book and didn’t really have a plan for what’s next. I usually buy books 5-6 at a time on the internet and reorder more when I’m down to the last one. But this time around I just didn’t do it. So, on a random Tuesday, I found myself at an open mic in a theater that also has a book store. I dipped in and tried to quickly pick something out. I saw Bukowski, grabbed it, paid for it, and got out of there.
And it felt sorta weird at first to read a story about Hollywood while all around me all I hear/see/read about is how LA’s on fire. It almost felt inappropriate. But then again, maybe now is the time to celebrate Hollywood in my own little weird way, through the appreciation I get out of seeing it through Bukowski’s eyes.
Also, something felt right about choosing a Bukowski book while I’m in the midst of a sober month. If I’m not gonna catch a buzz, I might as well read the words of a dude who famously enjoyed the bottle. This is probably the closest I’ll get to being drunk till February.
Anyways, so far, it’s a fun book. Bukowski’s voice is so distinct. Every book of his I’ve read absolutely feels like the same dude is talking to me. There’s no other voice like it. It’s casual but deep, crude but intelligent, drunk but delivering thoughts that are sobering. Bukowski is dirty but reading his books are a solid reminder that you can’t really get through life without getting some dirt on you and sometimes that’s where the joy is.
My guess is this book is a semi-to-mostly autobiographical retelling of the process of getting the movie, ‘Barfly,’ made which is a movie based on a Bukowski screenplay. So, it’s fun to read Bukowski’s take on Hollywood. I’m almost certain most of the actors, directors, and producers in this book are based on real people but obviously Bukowski wasn’t gonna use real names. So, in my head, I’m always trying to take wild guesses as to who’s who in real life. But this is about a movie that was made in 1987 that I’ve never seen (will rectify that soon) and since I was 7 at the time, I don’t believe I have a deep enough understanding of celebrity culture at that time to make very good guesses.
I had said while reading the book before this (that was very long) that I needed something short that paced well and I got it. I’m not done yet, but I’ll be there soon. It’s mostly been a breeze to read. Part of me wants to slow it down just a little because I'm enjoying it and don’t want it to be done so soon. Or maybe I’m just latching onto Bukowski as my crutch to get me through this sober month. If I’m not gonna be drunk, at least let me enjoy the words of someone who probably was.
Bukowski’s also in his 60s in this book so it’s an interesting look into an aging boozehound who is somehow past his prime and yet maybe just starting to receive the biggest accolades of his lifetime.
Random sports thought of the week
Quick random NFL playoff thoughts:
-I love when a team like the Rams comes into the playoffs as a bit of an underdog and romps the 14-win team they’re going up against. The Rams are scary. The Rams are the Cincinnati Bengals of the NFC if the Bengals could’ve just somehow won one more game.
-It’s almost unfair that we’re getting Bills vs Ravens this week. This could be the best or most important game of the entire playoffs. I want the Bills to win this game, but the Ravens are scary good. It’s unreal to think that the winner of this team isn’t guaranteed a Super Bowl spot, that they’ll most likely still have to go through Kansas City to make that happen. Any three of those teams would be well deserving of making it there. And let’s not overlook the upstart Houston Texans who played like they got something to prove last week. The AFC is insanity.
-The Washington Commanders are a fun story at the moment but there is no more fun story in the NFL than their opponent, the Detroit Lions. That Detroit crowd is going to be unhinged.
-I know I praised the Rams up front here, but I really hope their opponent this weekend, the Philadelphia Eagles, keep it moving with Saquon Barkley running up a storm. I can’t get enough of Barkley dominating and putting up numbers this season (and sometimes not putting up numbers like when he kneeled down when he easily could’ve ran for a touchdown at the end of their game against the Packers). Gimme more Saquon, all day, every day (until they reach Detroit. I’ve made it abundantly clear all season that I am a bandwagon Detroit Lions fan).
There’s been a lot of debate over who should be the MVP this season. Give it to both of them. Problem solved. You’re welcome, NFL.
Random pro wrestling thought of the week
I’m so glad that Penta is having his moment. He debuted on Monday Night Raw this week and I’m seeing a lot of clips and fun feedback about it. He gave a pretty emotional promo after his match which was something I’ve never really seen a lot of from him. Having his family in the front row was also a nice touch.
There are also some rumors that he ran over time and pissed some people off backstage. But those might just be rumors, and hear me out, even if he did, it seems to be the biggest moment on Raw this past week. If a few other wrestlers had to figure out ways to make their matches a little shorter, I think it’s worth it for the greater good.
Penta is a vet’s vet. He’s been everywhere. He’s done it all. WWE is the last mountain for him to climb. It’s awesome to see WWE have his back at the moment with what appeared to be prominent promotion around his debut. Also, WWE has some sick Penta merch.
I hope, “cero miedo,” catches on and stays hot with WWE fans. This feels like not only a big opportunity for Penta, who I feel is more than worthy and prepared to take full advantage of whatever WWE is willing to offer him, but also for WWE to really get behind a Mexican talent and help push the lucha style even further.
Penta’s got one of the coolest looks and presentations in all of pro wrestling. He’s also got the charisma and experience to back it up. I’m looking forward to seeing where he goes from here in his WWE tenure.
Top 5 Non-Alcoholic Beverages
1- coffee
2- Arizona Green Tea
3- ginger ale
4- water
5- milk shake
I drink a lot of water. I drink more water than anything else, but I couldn’t give it the top spot. Water is important and I enjoy being well hydrated, but as a beverage, it’s just not fun enough to take a higher spot than 4.
Weekly Quote
“In a capitalistic society the losers slaved for the winners and you have to have more losers than winners. What did I think? I knew politics would never solve it and there wasn’t enough time left to get lucky.”
-Charles Bukowski
Thanks for reading!
I am now on BlueSky. You can now follow me there as well as Instagram and Twitter at:
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I got some other videos as well if you want to check them out. I just uploaded a raw phone recording of my 30-minute set for my 45th birthday. Unpolished, unedited, warts and all, if you’re into that sorta thing. Go here:
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